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Streetplay Presidential Pentathlon section guide

• Pentathlon 2000 home
• Current standings
• Rules and disclaimer
• Streetplay humor section
• Pentathlon discussion area

Pentathlon news
• 3/9: Bradley & McCain quit, clash
• 3/7: Gore flicks a winner
• 2/21: Bradley, handball ace
• 2/14: McCain hops to victory
• 2/10: Forbes cashes out
• 2/4: Bauer falls out
• 2/2: Bush takes marbles
• 1/28: Events moved up
• 1/26: Hatch quits race

The candidates
• Bill Bradley (D)out of race
• Al Gore (D)
• Gary Bauer (R)out of race
• George W. Bush (R)
• Steve Forbes (R)out of race
• Orrin Hatch (R)out of race
• Alan Keyes (R)
• John McCain (R)out of race

 trash can: quit race

The events
• 2/2: Marbles
• 2/14: Hopscotch
• 2/21: Handball
• 3/7: Skully
• 3/14: Stickball



Bush wins, Forbes disqualified for bribery


Giuliani's reaction to bribe

Giuliani: "$100? What gall! What a cheapskate!"
STATEN ISLAND (Streetplay newsfeed, 2/2/2000) - In the opening event of the Streetplay Presidential Pentathlon 2000, Republican candidate George W. Bush took an early lead by handily beating all other contestants in the marbles competition. Due to inclement weather, the competition was held on the gymnasium floor of the Port Richmond High School here in Staten Island, NY; however, this did not hamper Bush, who easily outdistanced second and third place winners Republican Alan Keyes and Vice President Al Gore.

While the results of the competition were much as expected, there was excitement beyond the field of play. The referee of the marbles event, New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, disqualified Steve Forbes from the competition for attempting to bribe him. "As soon as Bush won his third match," Giuliani reported, "Forbes took me aside, shoved a $100 bill into my hand, and said, 'why don't you take Donna [Donna Hanover, Giuliani's wife] and yourself to a nice dinner.' I was mortified not only by the mere bribe attempt but also at the parsimonious sum he attempted to seduce me with." Giuliani added that Forbes told him, "I'll bankroll your Senate campaign if you declare me marbles champ."

While Forbes doesn't deny giving Giuliani a $100 bill, he denies that it was a bribe attempt. "I give lots of people cash in the hope that they'll vote for me. This was just an act of good will on my part, and I'm sorry that Rudy took it the wrong way." Forbes added that he wouldn't protest his disqualification from the marbles competition and that he'd redouble his efforts in the upcoming hopscotch event.
 
Some observers thought that Democrat Bill Bradley would be helped by playing on a basketball court, but this proved untrue as the lanky former New York Knick lacked the fine manual dexterity to win. Said Bradley, "Napoleon had Waterloo, Michael Jordan had baseball, I have marbles."
 

Gary Bauer falls
"I don't like falling down," noted Bauer, "but I got so much press from the pancake thing, I figured, 'Why not?'"
Republican candidate Gary Bauer who days before had embarrassingly fell off the stage at a pancake-flipping event in New Hampshire, duplicated the feat in the marbles competition. After losing a game to Bradley, Bauer fell on his backside while walking over to shake his opponent's hand. "I was so busy being a good sport, I forgot I was walking on a bunch of marbles on a wooden floor."
 
McCain's on crutches

"It's just a flesh wound, I'll be back!" quipped McCain.
Injury note: While Bauer suffered no ill-effects of his second fall in three days, Republican John McCain experienced a slight sprain of his knee on his first attempt at shooting a marble. "I should have warmed up more. I'm no spring chicken you know. But I will overcome this incapacity; the lessons I learned as a POW in Hanoi have made me tough."


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