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Streetplay Presidential Pentathlon section guide

• Pentathlon 2000 home
• Current standings
• Rules and disclaimer
• Streetplay humor section
• Pentathlon discussion area

Pentathlon news
• 3/9: Bradley & McCain quit, clash
• 3/7: Gore flicks a winner
• 2/21: Bradley, handball ace
• 2/14: McCain hops to victory
• 2/10: Forbes cashes out
• 2/4: Bauer falls out
• 2/2: Bush takes marbles
• 1/28: Events moved up
• 1/26: Hatch quits race

The candidates
• Bill Bradley (D)out of race
• Al Gore (D)
• Gary Bauer (R)out of race
• George W. Bush (R)
• Steve Forbes (R)out of race
• Orrin Hatch (R)out of race
• Alan Keyes (R)
• John McCain (R)out of race

 trash can: quit race

The events
• 2/2: Marbles
• 2/14: Hopscotch
• 2/21: Handball
• 3/7: Skully
• 3/14: Stickball

Bauer falls, can't get up

Bauer turns in gun
"Here, you take it," Bauer tells gun store owner after announcing his withdrawl from the campaign.
WASHINGTON (Streetplay feed, 2/4/2000) - Conservative Republican Gary Bauer, whose presidential campaign never really took flight, announced at a newsconference here today that he is pulling out of the race. For the second time in as many weeks, a presidential hopeful cited his failure in the Presidential Pentathlon for the basis of his withdrawl.

"Today I'm withdrawing from the contest for the Republican presidential nomination," Bauer said. "First I fell down at the pancake making thing, then just two days ago I stepped on some marbles and landed on my butt again. The other candidates are making fun of me... after I lost to [Bill] Bradley in at marbles [read story], he looked at me and said, 'You're such a spazz, short-stuff.' Even the guys at C-SPAN can't look at me with a straight face anymore."

When asked what his next challenge is, Bauer stunned the Washington press corps with an entirely unexpected response. "I will be working with David Hasselhoff in a new recurring role in his show, Baywatch: Hawaii." When asked to elaborate on this, Bauer stated, "I'll be playing the part of Biff, Mitch's long-lost twin brother." Hasselhoff could not be reached to confirm or deny Bauer's claim.

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