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McCain jumps on competition in hopscotch
Elated by the last-place showing of his Republican opponent, George W. Bush, McCain's post-game remarks were punctuated by the trash talk that has typified him in recent days, in striking contradiction to the "no negative campaigning" stand he espoused last week. Of Bush's prosepcts in the Pentathlon, he scoffed, "I'm going to beat him like a drum." Bush had no reaction to McCain's rhetoric; he shrugged his shoulders and laughed as he got into a limosine and left.
When asked why the Democrats have had a relatively poor showing until this
point in the Pentathlon, Bill Bradley commented, "It has nothing to do with
being a Democrat or Republican. My wheels [knees] are shot, and my ticker
just couldn't take the jumping around hopscotch demands." Gore, who proved a
tenacious opponent but faded in the end as he slipped on a sliver of ice on
the hopscotch board, echoed the sentiment, emphasizing that he "never saw too
much ice in Tennessee when I played hopscotch with the girls."
Making a surprise appearance at today's event was Steve Forbes, who withdrew from the presidential race four days ago in the wake of what has become known as "marblegate," his alleged attempt to influence the outcome of the Pentathlon through bribery. Forbes observed the contest sitting next to Streetplay.com spin-doctor Hugh McNally. Neither would comment on what they spoke of during the match. A final note came from today's fourth place finisher, all-but-forgotten candidate Alan Keyes. "I know everyone expects me to withdraw after next week's handball competition. That may be true, but there is a moral imperative for me to perform to my best until my inevitable withdrawl." |
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