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Pentathlon News: Bradley and McCain fight, quit
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Streetplay Presidential Pentathlon section guide

• Pentathlon 2000 home
• Current standings
• Rules and disclaimer
• Streetplay humor section
• Pentathlon discussion area

Pentathlon news
• 3/9: Bradley & McCain quit, clash
• 3/7: Gore flicks a winner
• 2/21: Bradley, handball ace
• 2/14: McCain hops to victory
• 2/10: Forbes cashes out
• 2/4: Bauer falls out
• 2/2: Bush takes marbles
• 1/28: Events moved up
• 1/26: Hatch quits race

The candidates
• Bill Bradley (D)out of race
• Al Gore (D)
• Gary Bauer (R)out of race
• George W. Bush (R)
• Steve Forbes (R)out of race
• Orrin Hatch (R)out of race
• Alan Keyes (R)
• John McCain (R)out of race

 trash can: quit race

The events
• 2/2: Marbles
• 2/14: Hopscotch
• 2/21: Handball
• 3/7: Skully
• 3/14: Stickball

Skully tourney causes primary uproar

Candidates announce grudge match
McCain (left, with wife Cindy) and Bradley announce their one-on-one basketball grudge match.
STREETPLAY EXCLUSIVE (3/9/2000) - Both faced with sagging fortunes in the Presidential Pentathlon and primary races, candidates "Dollar" Bill Bradley and John "Blood and Guts" McCain have announced their departure from the 2000 presidential race. However, in a bizarre twist precipitated by an altercation between the two after last Tuesday's Pentathlon skully competition, spokespeople for the candidates have announced a one-on-one basketball grudge match to determine, as McCain put it, "which one of us is the real man." The game is tentatively scheduled Friday, March 17, and will be held during halftime of St. John's University's first game in the NCAA men's basketball tournament.

Evidentally angered by McCain's statements about opponent Al Gore's success in last Tuesday's skully event where he called Gore, among other things, "Hillary [Clinton] in a three piece suit," Bradley approached McCain and a shoving match ensued. Bradley antagonized McCain further, saying, "What are you gonna do shorty, punch me in the knee?" The ill-will escalated with McCain's reply, "Don't make me give you a Hanoi headlock, you quadruple-chinned has-been." The candidates' wives were able to break up the scuffle between the two before any blows were thrown, and suggested the basketball game as an honorable way to settle their differences.

Later, when asked why he would accept this challenge against Mr. Bradley, a former professional basketball player, McCain said, "I'll beat him. Look at the guy--he sweats when he walks across a stage. My footwork will have him gasping for air before he gets a shot off." Bradley's comments on McCain's chances were equally vitriolic, "He's old, he's short, he's weird, and he doesn't have a prayer against me."

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